She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
