so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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