You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
