I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
