Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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