meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
