Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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