never play flip cup with pint glasses
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize