Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
