considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
a search helicopter?!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
