his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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