Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize