After last night, I could never be a politician.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Its about making memories worth repressing
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I just put wine in my tea
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
