im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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