Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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