Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
