i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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