I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
