Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
so much tequila, so little girl.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
