I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
