I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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