yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize