I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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