Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
