What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm always down for nudity.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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