No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
