you win again, gameday.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
