Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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