Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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