i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
