Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think my tv is drunk
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
