i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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