you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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