end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize