I think my fart just growled at me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize