i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
be right there i have to get my cape
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
