all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
