You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
