It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
