We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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