I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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