Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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