You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
