you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My vagina is officially offended.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
