Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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