phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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