Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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