We're like a lot better than the average bears
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish you could order shots online.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
