? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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