so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
