in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
