Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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