So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
