CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
