i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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