Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize