btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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