CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize