I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
