OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so let's talk penis.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize