Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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