Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
