Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
