Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
