So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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