It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
