You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
