My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
