I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think I sprained my soul last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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