I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
