Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
