We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
