I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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