Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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