Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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