Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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