Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
